Trust and Control

Good morning, Sir.

I wanted to write a little about trust and control. I'm a worst case scenario person. I don't mean to be. I just am. When I'm in a situation, I plan what I'd do if there was an emergency. Even as you were tying me, I wondered what you'd do if there was, say, a fire. How would you react? How would you keep me safe? In the back of my mind, there's always a plan. When I can't help myself, I'm counting on you. Especially when I can't help myself because if something you've done, like tie my hands behind my back.

I know it's silly, but I felt like you got flustered by everything, the people coming to see the apartment, the pizza guy. And it made me feel like maybe you wouldn't be able to take care of me if there was an emergency. I know, it was a pizza. But anger usually masks something else. For me, it's often fear. I get scared when I can't protect myself. I count on you. I trust you, Sir. But I also know you're a human, you can't handle everything (but I can, apparently. My brain is weird). I'm working on it.

I love you, Sir.