Spanking

Good morning, Sir.

Last night, I cried for the first time during a spanking. I was embarrassed at the time, but overall I'm satisfied. I had been wondering what it would take to bring me to that point. Of course, Sir was wonderful and cuddled me immediately. I would almost have preferred he keep going than having to show him my tears. But that's just my own pride.

Sir and I also talked about my refusal of sex the previous night. He is so good to me. He wants to ensure he's not asking too much, since we're experimenting and not wanting to affect too much of the other aspects of our lives. Sir said maybe some day we will create a rule around it, but there really wasn't one at the time.

Then this morning, it struck me. To make a rule around not being able to refuse sex would be consensual non-consent. I'm ok with that, but it would require a pretty important conversation. The part of me that still felt vaguely guilty about the night before was the part that simply assumed I was supposed to just have sex whenever he wanted it, regardless of what I wanted. That may eventually be a part of our relationship. But it isn't right now, and hasn't been for us before.

I feel like I'm learning so much.